2007-11-15 - 1:56 PM

i sit in the dark living room. the only light the glowing monitor. a warm peace flowing in me. feeling my womanhood has brought me so much connection again. in the pain of cramps and old memories of babies heads and swollen bellies. i feel myself holding myself with love and contentment. not even knowing how i missed this brief connection with the earth and the mother. sigh...

i love being a woman. my soft breasts and big areola. i love that part of me. remembering my babies sucking them their little hands and fingers touching me there as they pulled at my nipples. it's a lovely feeling even in the sometimes pain of it. pain.. a woman has a lot of pain.. monthly pain reminding her of her flower..pain in love and pain in birth. pain in death and in rising up. nothing is without pain.

i lay in bed thinking of these art projects . i see the colors and the mediums .. i see visions of what i must do and how it will unfold. they evolve in my head for now.. i can't sleep because they excite me. my body feels more well every day and soon i will be out there
working again. i know it. my heart pounds at these new ideas.. like all my molecules are dancing.

i don't care that i am poor. i don't care that i am alone. i feel so blessed and so peaceful. now this excitement comes and brings along with it a happiness.

yes.. that's what i feel
i am happy.. sigh...
what a wondrous feeling.

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