2007-11-22 - 12:25 AM

the world is white outside. it snowed most of the night. it is sunny now but cold. it will be a quiet day here. the turkey is thawing in the fridge, but i will save the cooking for tomorrow. my daughter and i will share the cooking experience and listen to music while we enjoy that. set the table with china and silver. drink sparkling drink from wine glasses. light some candles and eat together.

found her last night sitting at the computer with tears running down her face.. she was watching the cd that was made for her dads funeral. it has his favorite songs and a slide show of pictures of us all and him. she misses her dad. i smoothed her hair.. stood next to her for a while. we talked about the last song. she wanted to know the name of the song. it is curtis chapmans "with hope".. i just wanted to hold her .. cuddle her in my bed.. but she wouldn't do that right now..so i didn't ask her. it breaks my heart to feel her pain. i want to comfort her so.

i let her know i am here. but she doesn't seek comfort from me. it's ok. i will be here anyway. here when she does need me. here when she doesn't. sometimes that's all they need to know.

somewhere along the way i learned love isn't about being needed. needing isn't love. love is being there standing beside and with and through.

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