2007-01-16 - 12:24 PM

last nights DREAM.........i was in a house unknown to me... a group of people there i didn't recognize
but seemed to know in the dream... it appeared to be some sort of test... they attached 3 snakes to me.. like leeches.. i had to endure them through the night sucking on me. i remember walking the dark house in the dream trying not to think about the snakes or the pain. it felt like such a long time in the darkness, trying to find my way in a strange place ..more than just one night.. it felt like forever... like they were trying to suck the very life out of me. how hard it was to not think about the pain. but at some points i was so focused outside myself i would forget they were there. i vaguely remember people coming to me one by one in secret trying to take the snakes from me... and i would not let them.. because i knew if i did i would fail whatever this was...till finally this one man all in shadow came to me and i knew he was the one i had been waiting for and i let him take them off one by one..his hands so gentle and tender ...it felt so good to be released... i fell into his arms and his face became light and bright like it was full of sun and then i realized i had my eyes closed tight...so i opened my eyes and it was HIS face

i decided yesterday i am going to send several submissions a week this year... wtf.. now this morning i am frozen looking at all my writing as crap. i can't find anything i like very much... blaagggg what is it.. .what is it..i say.. just fuck king pick one.. it doesn't matter...
but I'm stuck.. stuck stuck... i need to walk... get out of this house
but its cold as a witches tit still... aggggggg i feel restless.. pissy
spell ck wants to change pissy to pussy... ha
that dream woke me unsettling.. .feeling of my tummy where the snakes were sucking ... now i am restless.. unearthed... i am so tired of this blasted cold

i need a smoke... i haven't wanted a smoke in a while there is one maybe two left in an old pack out in the studio.
but i don't have the heat on out there and its fucking cold
ha... wtf.. I'm a sailor this morning.. cursing everything...
fuck fuck fuck.... ha...

Seaman Apprentice,
k

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