2006-08-17 - 9:10 AM

Only when men master sexual morality can the entire moral order be reestablished, and the world healed.

I read this today and find that I very much agree with the point. I'm not a religious fanatic, I think long ago I used to be one. These days I find my religion is so much more personal and quiet. It's my own path and nothing I wish to drag anyone along with me on. I have no desire to convert or debate. I only know what I know in my heart. My heart tells me to be celibate. My reasons vary from day to day. Sometimes its more for my own growth and other days its just for the waiting for that someone. Then sometimes I wonder if there will ever be another someone and then my reasons are something more ethereal. Since choosing celibacy I find my internal power seems to be growing. Yet I yearn for physical contact, but it's not really the intercourse I crave it's the touch of another human. I sometimes wish for just that one thing. I wonder if I could have a holding buddy instead of a boody buddy. The sad thing is there is no one I would trust enough to try that. And honestly that speaks loudly to me the state of the world and back to the quote I started with. I wonder at the minds of men, consumed with lust. I wonder if most men are really like that.. thinking of sex all day long. I wonder if the worlds depravity lays in that one thing. lust of body, lust of power, lust of pleasure.
and back to my own thoughts... am I dreaming to want something more spiritual than carnal. why can't love be like that... and why isn't it...
am I too much a dreamer...

"Chastity is the flowering of man; and what are called Genius, Heroism, Holiness, and the like, are but various fruits which succeed it." Henry David Thoreau

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