2006-07-12 - 11:41 AM

i go to church with my parents. such a tiny church .. plain white wood.
like any country church you might see in a small southern farm town. a white wood steeple and small cross on top.
inside small plain wood pews with cheap prints of Jesus here and there.
silk greenery on the arches and simple green carpet. its very plain .. but there are home made stain glass windows on the east side that are pretty and it has a warm quiet comfort about it. maybe 20 people come on Sunday , mostly elderly folks. i feel quite young among them all. they adore fawn there and the pianist always asks her to sing a solo. then all the old folks clap and afterward come and pat her telling her how beautiful she sings.. its so sweet and quaint.

this past sunday there was a man i had seen once before there. more my age and sitting with a young boy that i found out later is his son. my mother makes a point to introduce us. hes got graying hair but is quite handsome in a cowboy sort of way. tall and thin. with one of those big mustaches that's gray too. he teased me about my very southern name and said it over a few times..... sort of like my family does me. hardly anyone calls me by my two names except my family. so it felt odd hearing it from him.
he has a nice smile.. later i find out as mom is telling me about him in the car on the way home.. he is divorced and so shes going on about him and I'm getting the picture that shes matchmaking a bit.. all i feel like doing is making sure i leave before he gets any ideas about looking me up or anything.

when really the only man i think about is somewhere way up north with long red hair and large gentle hands. he's preoccupied and im not even on his mind ..but no one else can compare to his soul.

my folks talked me into staying through till the weekend. dad took my film to get developed and told me it would not be ready till friday.. lol..

I've been helping him with his PowerPoint presentations. i had to teach him how to download his files to a disk. he said he did it once but it was a fluke and didn't remember how he did it. so i made a little cheat sheet for him with steps. had to teach him how to copy text from MS word to PowerPoint. then he borrowed the projector and laptop from the college and brought them home so we could
see the presentation slides we made. it all looked good so hes happy.

mom has me cking out what her first edition books are worth online, among other vintage estate things of my aunts and hers. so shes bringing them to me and I'm putting sticky notes with a price range on them. they have quite a few valuable books actually.
granddad liked military books , so there are quite a few of those that are nice.

tonight we went to town for the senior buffet at western sizzlin..
I'm not fond of it but they love it. the food always looks old and icky to me. but hey what ever trips their trigger.

its been hot as hell here the last couple of days. over 100 and sweltering
I'm down to wearing shorts with no underwear and tank tops. id go naked if i was at home.. lol

dad rented movies and so we have been watching a different one of those the last few nights.

on the way home from the restaurant i was listening to my mamaw talking.
i love the way her voice sounds. her deep deep southern accent and the way
she cuts off words.. its hard to explain how it sounds. to anyone else i suppose she just might sound like an uneducated hick. but to me its so sweet and endearing. it wraps me up in all sorts of memory folds of when my aunt and i were young and laying with her between us in that big wood bed. us each under an arm that held a big
book .. reading brer rabbit stories .. or maybe she might just lay with us in the dark and tell stories from her memory. i just drifted off wishing i was feeling her warm arms around me like that again. im cherishing her ...

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