2006-04-16 - 8:02 AM

my daughter and i watched the remake of the ten commandments last week. she kept saying all through the movie... thats not right.. thats not how it was...in her mind the original movie is just how it was and there isn't any discussing it. so last night we watched the original one and she was quietly content through it all. we did play the titanic board game while watching. she really loves board games. this one was one of several given to her by the neighbor who was cleaning out his daughters stuff whos older now and coming home from college.

so we have a pile of new boardgames to try out. i made a lazagna last night and we ate that while watching too.
its a long ass movie.. lol

i still love it when the red sea parts.
i remember seeing it the first time on a drive in theater movie screen years and years ago. sitting in lawn chairs
eating popcorn in the warm night air.
i do miss drive in theaters...don't you?
an experience my daughter may never know.

i should be starting to get ready for church. we promised to go with the grandparents this morning. i wish they would stop wanting to go to the church that we had the funeral service at. but its the one that he was a member of and its the one they all think fondly of..and they think my daughter likes.
and the truth is she and i would go anywhere but there. it will be all we can do to keep from crying during the service. why don't they understand that. i have told them before. sometimes people hear only what they want to hear. i think they think its just me and i should suck it up for my daughter. or maybe they just like the sympathetic eyes and people that are there. of maybe its just another way for them to feel he is there with us on every holiday.

its hard to keep the good memories alive for my daughter and hold in my own resistance to memorializing him.
i put her feelings before mine. but i would never choose to go to this place.
and this maybe the last time i allow them to insist on going there.

i guess this is a mixed up post of different thoughts.. oh well that is how i feel this morning.

btw...happy easter

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