2006-02-11 - 9:14 AM

it was a terrible night..
i had a hard time falling sleeping and then after i did fall asleep after midnight. i had yoshi waking me up to let him out he turned his nose up at the friggin rice all day. i even mixed a bit of meat with it.. and warmed it nice for him.. little snot just sniffed it and looked at me .. maybe his tummy didn't feel good. but i think he was just being picky and wanted his regular canned food. and then before bed he finally gives in and eats it.. so he was trotting all through the night. tonight im not going to give him anything before bed. i have to get a full nights sleep... he has been keeping me up for the last 3 nights.. im worn out..and a bit crabby.

last night i wasn't feeling right either.. my head felt like it was going to explode..my neck was hurting , my ears were hurting.. my legs felt funny and they are starting to show edema. i was anxious and nervous and getting scared watching my legs swell. i was working into a real panic attack then around 10 a friend of mine from NY got online and talked to me for a while. i made some camimille tea .. that sort of calmed me and he made me laugh and that helped calm me .. so then i fianlly went to sleep.. but poor yoshi woke me up at 2 and at 4 and at 6 and then at 8.. ..then i was feeling light headed ..so i had to ck my blood sugar plan something to eat and then take an insulin shot.. take my other meds with my yogurt.. i planned too much food and im full and now im not sure what to do.. guess ill just wait a little bit and then see if i can finish the yogurt. next time ill think ill plan it , eat it and then take the shot .. so i can adjust the shot to what i can actually eat.. i guess ill get the hang of it eventually.

i think ill call the doctor on monday and let them know about the edema. thats not a good sign..

this friend i talked to in NY is a very nice man who i used to play civ with. hes married to a famous NY DJ and has a cute son that is a couple years younger than fawn. he loves his wife but hes always telling me that if he didn't he would sure come down here and snag me up.. hes always joking and making me laugh.. seems like hes always there when things are really awful late at night and no one is awake but me.. after water dragon died he talked me through a few panic attacks in the middle of the night.i remember once i had a horrid visit to an awful doctor .. i was crying and
sobbing when i got home and just couldn't stop.. he was online and talked
to me.. then when he realized that wasn't working he called me and talked to me on the phone for a while till he had me laughing and not crying..he has one of those NY accents and i can barely understand him because he talks real fast. even just hearing his voice makes me laugh. he said he was going to call me sometime this weekend and ck on me. .. and no theres never been anything sexual between us.. hes just a real nice friend. he was mad at me because i had not talked with him in a while or let him know i was sick again. he had heard it from a mutual friend.

ok i guess thats enough whinning.. im going to try to finish this yogurt.and then go back to bed for a little bit..

i think i need some cheese with my whines

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