2005-09-19 - 11:32 PM

i spent last evening with my good friends raven and turtle. also their neighbors across the street. turtles house is one of those 40's bungalo type houses and she has the most amazing garden out back. full of wonderful herbs and vegetables. so eating at her house is full of herb flavors. it was a cajun night and the food was spicy.
we had wine and laughed .. it was nice.
but today i have fallen into depression.
feelings of being the token single person there.. weird pauses when my deceased husbands name was mentioned. nothing glaring and im sure mostly my feelings.. but still being there where he and i had been so many times together playing cards, drinking and eating, laughing. i hate how this has become. i love that they still invite me.. i want to be there.. its been two years.. i wonder how long it takes to feel normal again.. does that really ever happen?

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