2007-04-01 - 10:55 AM

i went back to bed and cried myself to sleep.
woke up just now with panic rushing in like a damn broke somewhere
my inner thoughts running everywhere ..
yoshi gone and being alone again..
my heart is thumping in my chest and my thoughts are a nervous mess.
i keep taking deep breaths and telling myself everything is ok.
but the thought of being alone the rest of my life overwhelms me
i was not created to be alone.. my whole being knows it.
i was made for loving and being loved..
for being someones partner and companion.
but i must wait... i will not choose someone just to fill the emptiness.
i will not give myself for any reason but love.
i am tired... tired of this life without love
if not for my children
i would end my waiting and lonely heart
and go find yoshi in the yellow flowers

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