2007-03-09 - 9:09 AM

well the medicine helped. yesterday afternoon i felt better than i have in quite some time. feeling how it feels to not be anxious for a few hours revealed to me how anxious i have been for quite some time. i wait this morning to see if a panic attack will begin. if it does i will take another pill. yesterday i called my therapist and set an appointment up for next week. its time to face this last demon and i don't think i can do it alone.
being wise is knowing when to ask for help. as i write i notice my arm is beginning to get tight again.. a small sign of pending panic.. so i take deep breaths and i will go paint.. see if that will keep it at bay.. i hear the crows calling me. crow carries the spirit of the choice to fly free of the chains of the past and to soar toward self knowing.

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