2007-02-10 - 7:33 PM

in my therapy, awakening, and truth i have come to know.
i only have to be good enough for me. gone are the days when i will change who i am to meet someone else's needs. i have learned to heal myself and to let others heal themselves. that though i might care for someone or love someone, i can let that person heal themselves and just be here loving without giving myself away. i can let go of wanting to be needed ... that was a strange first step in all this process for me. to live without someone desperately needing me.... to know that i could care deeply and not need to do anything else.. to just allow someone to work on their own issues and work through their own pain. without taking that pain into myself and destroying my own self. healing myself and allowing others the space to do that too.
love is not always about making things ok ..
i don't have to make or create a perfect world for those i love. gone are the desires to lose myself in trying to heal another. forgetting who i am , in taking on another's burden. if i am alone with no one else to solve problems for... i might, heaven forbid, solve my own. i have looked into the mirror and found i love my reflection. i have always loved myself, but been afraid to allow it. believing it to be selfish. i am beautiful and gifted. i am precious and valuable .. alone ...without anyone else to give me meaning. i am the meaning... i am the treasure i have sought. i am my own longings and desires. i am my own true love. every good thing lost to me has come back. every pure thing i thought was gone for good is whole again... i feel as strong as i did as a young girl.... though i know i am never done healing. there is always more to learn and more to grow into. ... i have come such a far distance. i have power over me and nothing else... i can only change myself. as i listen to the voice of my own heart

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