2006-11-06 - 1:06 PM

i meditated this morning and did the grounding, cleansing and boundary setting. it's not a magic cure. it's more of a mental ceremony that sets a mental space.

then i made a list of things to do. so i began with the cleaning chores and worked myself into a frenzy. stopping for a break..i just read sandyz diary and she did cleaning today too. it's a good mindless therapy that in the end makes me feel good and tired. so half my list is done.

i have a few phone calls to make
appointments to set....

then i am going to pamper myself
a hot shower with some music and then a pedicure and manicure. my toenails will be candy red. my fingers will be polished clear.

i watched that movie the other day about the woman with breast cancer who wore red lipstick to her mastectomy..some things about it were disturbing to me, some things i thought were very brave.... i face things differently....more internally quiet than externally public... for me, it's red toenail polish. i like the feeling of knowing it's there and no one can see....me and my candy red toenails inside my plain brown suede shoes.

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