2006-08-08 - 9:36 PM

watercolor makes no pretension to perfection nor eternity. thats the essence of watercolor.

done on paper and so fragile. too much attention and its ruined. the brush strokes always a bit imperfect and unreal. there is always an ethereal quality about watercolors.

the truth is.. it fits my personality exactly. pastels are almost the same..
maybe its why im so drawn to work in those mediums. i love drawing with pencil too and charcoal. but the main medium that pulls me is watercolor.

i have not forgotten clay.. .i still have dreams about that messy love... but i will have to wait until there is more money for supplies and equipment.

but as always i think there is a plan to this whole phase.. a guidance steering me to this path im on... a reason i don't have much money , a reason i am limited to certain mediums.. a reason for loving and for being alone and i have no clue as to the why of any of it.

just that today... i have watercolors
i have aloneness.. i have time.. i have words to write. i have love...i have my daughter to take care of... and those are my moments today

thats what i mean about living in the today.. in the now.. not with big plans or ideas. its hard to live in the moment and just ride the boat. the desire to take the wheel and guide or make a plan where the boat is going ... that desire is hard to put aside. it requires a faith in something not seen.. a trust in that quiet internal eternal voice. it feels like there is a poem there. i think ill go ponder it a while

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