2006-06-02 - 9:24 AM

a walk around the lake yesterday let off some of that steam i was building up. this morning my legs are a bit sore.telling me i should do that more often.so maybe today i will take fawn with me.

she slept with me last night.. sometimes she just comes in my room late in the night and asks if she can sleep with me. i let her quite often. i don't see any harm in it, though I'm sure child experts would cluck about it. i just say .. fuck them..

today is my sons birthday so we called his cell a few min ago and sang happy birthday on his message thing. i was hoping to wake him up but he didn't answer the phone.. lol payback for calling me early on mothers day waking me up.

last night as fawn got into bed with me she noticed i had put out the small aluminum vases that "the body" hand made for me a long time ago. i had put them away in a box with the cards he had hand made for me too. I'm very sentimental about things people spend time making for me.
those really are the best gifts.. i have kept everything my children made me. its just how i am.
anyway, i was sorting and filing things in the office yesterday and found them in a small box.. i had forgotten i put them there actually. so i put the cards in a baggie and was going to put them in my chest with other old mementos. but i like the little vases so i put them back out.. i had put them away because they made me mad before... now i don't feel anything about them . except i can appreciate the hard work and beauty of them. the craftsmanship. he does have quite a talent in metal working. something i do know about and can appreciate. and these are really nice pieces that took many many hours to make. but the point of this story is ... what she said.... she asked me why i had them out .. i told her about the beauty of them. then she said that didn't matter.. i should not have them out because he hurt me and she didn't like him. he wasn't a nice man. she was upset i let him come see me the last time and was worried i was going to start dating him again. i had to reassure her that would never happen. so i guess they are going in the chest with the cards. she is not as forgiving as i am.

the electrician is coming around noon. by this evening my studio might be done with contractors.. all that will be left is my own work of painting the walls. and doing something with the floor. i won't start that till i come back from Oklahoma. i have a list of things i have to do .. putting gutters up along the back, painting the walls.. painting the front porch.. putting a sealer on the concrete floor. i just hope i have enough money to do those things.. i may have to charge some of the material so i don't wipe out my savings. its pretty low now.

I'm working on setting up a sellers ebay account.i have put that off long enough. i have to retake the photos of that ring im going to sell. i tried doing it with the cheap little digital camera. it just sucks for close up photos. there is something wrong with it in that way.. there is a micro switch on it.. but nothing ive done will make good clear photos up close using it.

sooo i need to pick up my good camera from my dad.. i let him borrow my olympus a couple years ago for this trip they were taking out to california. it has a really nice micro lens to take close ups with. i have missed having it around.. i also have a nice telephoto lens too.. a really nice camera "fire dragon" bought me long ago. I've taken lots of beautiful photos with it... id like to start doing that again... i wish it was a digital camera. but it is a high end old fashioned one.
i wonder if film will ever become obsolete. like 8 track tapes or cassettes or reel to reel?

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