2006-05-20 - 11:21 AM

so the warning sign flashing yesterday made me go and delete all of "the bodys" messages from the last few months. i found i was going back and looking at his charming comments over and over... blaaaa brainwashing.. so they are all gone. im so proud of myself. i think my little comment.. "ahhh you broke up with me shark boy .. remember" might do the trick. in reply to his "you are such a gorgeous and exciting woman, you are very hard to forget" no thanks, i don't need to be your appetizer more than once.

so now i feel very empowered.
its so freeing to find that place in me where i don't need or feel desperate for companionship. i know this is a drum i beat a lot in my writing. but it is a hard won lesson of mine. that i am able and love being alone. that i do not need a companion to be complete. i am complete unto myself. that i don't have to settle for anything. why be with someone who isn't who i want to spend time with, just because they "want" to be with me or because im afraid to be alone. or because im afraid that is the last or only person who would want me. blaaaaaa im so grown beyond all that. whewww what a relief. what a wonderful thing to say no and feel no guilt or remorse or fear.

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