2006-03-29 - 7:53 AM

i wrote a poem about the beating that i wrote about in the last entry. you can find it in the archives under "icebound thanksgiving"

after three years of therapy i can honestly say im healing. i don't know if anyones ever completely healed. i think there is always some scar tissue left. some wounds are just so deep the scars never go away. part of my therapy was called EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing). you can find information abou this therapy here http://www.emdr.com/briefdes.htm

i was diagnosed with PTSD Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder and major depression. the depression diagnosis started out as minor but after my husbands death was changed.

i have an excellent therapist who continued to see me after i had no insurance at a discounted rate. for about a year i was on paxil. but today i am free of any of those types of medication. not that i think that medication is bad... it was very helpful after my husband died. i just prefer to live life without medication.

no im not free from depression. i just have learned to work through it. learned how to recognize my symptoms and move through them. choosing to move through the darkness and not live there.

i don't know if i can say im healed from PTSD but i do know im better. EMDR treatment is quite amazing and even now i don't know how it works on a brain only that it does.

im not in therapy anymore. we had reached a point where i had worked through all the traumas and talked about everything. it was time to see how life was like on my own. im doing well but i know if i want to she is always there to see if i need her. its been almost a year out of therapy.
im doing ok. =)

�

�