2006-03-04 - 1:05 PM

this week has been an emotional earthquake and a spiritual quest full of questions.. doubts... depression.. torment.

fianlly on wednesday i did a journey/meditation. it has been a while since i took time to do that. i saged the room and put on the drumming. i laid on my bed in the dark. for a long while i saw nothing but blackness. then the space below me began to move and i was flying through the darkness with the space whisking past below. then there was more light and i could see ground flashing by below. im on the back of a huge dragon he is spraying fire left and right turning to look around at me as though trying to say something to me. then we plunge into water and i float off his back swimming in beautiful blue ocean not needing any air, as though i was a mermaid...i see a glowing woman with gold hair long like blankets billowing out and around floating in the water. she spoke to me but i can't now remember what she said.

after that i was possessed with needing to write and for the days after i wrote till my arms and fingers ached some of my best work in a long while.

I had been depressed and questioning my dreams and intuition that i have received over the past couple years. questioning the voices .. wondering if im just insane or following a true path.

last night i took out fox's energy deck. I've not used them in a long time. i held them and asked the questions "can i trust my intuition,dreams,voices and what message is there for me" i mixed them up and closed my eyes spread them out in front of me and chose one without looking. it was the "fairies and angels" card.

the very one that,one month after water dragon died, i was at a metaphysical fair and saw from across the warehouse.i was mesmerized by it and drawn to look at it close up. it was the most beautiful painting i had ever seen in person. I could not leave without buying

the painting that brought fox and i together in friendship.

the one that is the 3' by 4' painting that fox created for me that hangs in my living room.

the painting that began the idea to stay home and create.

the painting that has given me so much comfort and joy.

and so i read the message written on the back of the card once again. as though seeing it for the first time..............

let go and trust your spirit guides.. become creative and expressive allow the joy and magic to unfold. angels and fairies inspire us to play in this magical garden of creativity. the portal of light is in the shape of a keyhole, a doorway to the ethereal plane. view the two cat sentinels guarding this gate to the heavens. hidden in the lower right hand corner is the face of a deva nature spirit. his message is to ask for assistance from your unseen spirit guides and trust them to lead the way. step into the light and request your angels, fairies, devas and nature spirits to be present with you. allow them to inspire you to childlike creativity. play laugh and enjoy.

if you have drawn this card you are being called to trust the intuitive messages you receive from the unseen dimensions. let go and lead with the feminine right brain and allow the path to unfold before you. experience your creative bliss.

and so all doubt fell away..

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