2005-11-26 - 7:36 PM

this is the third holiday season with my husband gone. the first one was kind of numb the second one was difficult. this one is feeling just sad.

i went to a grief group a few months after he passed away. it was way too soon. all their trite answers to my grief just felt like salt in an open wound. even now after 2 years i still think about him almost every day.. i think there are some days when i go all that day without a thought about him.. but not a week yet..

i wish my studio was done.. ive been waiting so long for them to finish it.
along with this writing i want to paint.
sometimes words don't help release the pain and when i feel like that i just want to paint. i want to sit out there with all those windows and watch the birds.

my fawn has a friend over spending the night.. they giggle a lot and have played clue and life.. we made baby pizzas and grape kool aid. and i let them get into my fudge. now they are watching some show on tv with jessie mc cartney. they seem very taken with this boy man. lol .. silly screams and moans.. soon they will be on the floor playing with barbies or brats. happy girls.. i love the sound of it.

�

�