2005-10-15 - 3:45 PM

the morning the door flew open in my mind, all the window shades raised up at the same time. bornearly , i guess you were right ... hes not available to me.
i have been tumbling that over and over in my mind since i read your thoughts. and today it all comes crashing into my mind ripping away every blinder. all the pain i was pretending wasn't there.. its all just rushing down in buckets. another room to clean out .. his room.. i thought i could leave it alone and someday he would fill it up.. silly dreamy girl. time to feel the pain.

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