2006-07-02 - 11:43 PM

the question in the dark of this night.
comes from my dear friend bornearly.
do you feel your life?

sometimes coming home makes me revert in some ways and things i am doing or feeling just go on hold become suspended animation...

i remember when i was in college those dreams i had of communes and collective living.. of gardens and flowers, of travel and writing, music and art.
that is what i wanted my life to be
that is what my life is and has become
that is what my life feels like

i want to just be me
this me i am becoming.
a woman with no agenda,
with no guile or pretense
with no hidden self...
who is herself always without guilt or regret....
without apology in being her.
a woman who can laugh at herself and not be self debasing

uncomplicated in those ways that most women are too complicated and
to be very complicated in the ways
that i find interesting.

funny i understand that and how it relates to feeling your life
but maybe no one else will
and that's ok

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