2006-05-06 - 10:00 AM

funny i was writing to madrigale and i thought.. humm i should just entry this .. talking about the watercolor in the last entry....

actually im still diddling with it.. that was just after the first few hours. since then i added more yellows and more vegetation and now im dinking around with what was a dry creek bed. water is so difficult ...esp in water color its either tooo runny or tooo dry or tooooo something.. blaaaaa... oh, but ive had fun playing... the whole feel of me and my art has changed so much i just don't take it so serious anymore.. thinking every stroke has to be perfection or profound or the one stroke that does it... do you understand what i mean..

so much fear used to restrict me where my art was concerned. now it feels like chains have fallen off .. my arms are free and i can just play with it. i don't care how it turns out.. i don't even really have a huge plan.. i just begin putting color to the paper and let it happen.. god how wonderful that feels..i can't tell you how small a place i used to be in where creativity was only allowed in small doses and only in restricted places and only when everything else was done.. then when i was trying to let it out ... there was all these thoughts of how to begin
even in my writing the space was so small .. no wonder for years i felt so invisible , every time i would stretch out my arms i would hit a wall or be slapped back into place.

freedom.. god it feels like being carried on hummingbird wings.

�

�