2006-02-05 - 7:11 AM

woke up to yoshi crying... laying next to my bed he wasn't in bed with me last night ...he was sleeping in his own bed. i then heard him go to the hall and yelp like he was hurt again. i got up wondering what was wrong.. he was laying in the hall. he sort of crawled walked to the living room and yelping now and then. i called the emergency vet place... took him right over.

after a long exam.. and they gave him some morphine half way through it. he has a disk that is swollen or slipped.. his right leg is useless they are going to try steroid treatment today. that may reduce the swelling.. then they will see if he can walk,if not .... then they say he will need surgery... this today is already 500 dollars. the surgery would be 3000 or more .. with physical therapy after that
i can't afford it.. and i can't imagine life without yoshi.
what am i to do... im not made of stone.. i have not cried yet for me for this thyroid thing that is happening to me... but im crying like a baby over yoshi.. and i can't seem to stop crying... how will i live without my yoshi...

im broken..
if "they" were trying to break me down .. this is it..

ive not told my daughter yet. she knew i was leaving to take him to the vet early this morning.. but she was sleeping when i got home.. still sleeping now... she keeps asking me after every test for me .. am i going to die and i say no darling..... her father died in 2003 suddenly of a heart attack at 41. so when she asks me that (its not like other children who don't know what death really means)its with that "too knowing" look in her eye. and im supposed to tell that honey her yoshi may die.

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